you know your answer sounds right. We all do need structure, and God save those whose parents didn’t teach it. I wonder… On a day when she is in a good mood, and well rested, I wonder if you could have a talk with her. Tell her explicitly that we all have these structures, and they wont quit for her whole life. And choosing good ones is going to be key to actually have a good life. Then just let her know that you plan to have just a few structures, but that you really are going to be sticking to them. You are going to keep them minimal because of her new schooling… but not zero.

Maybe she will see that this is quite intentional are your part.

or maybe not… its a thought

— dan