The actual quote from the Atlantic article is ``white men and asian women are more desired''

You intentionally drop this second part in order to make this about gender. It is more nuanced than that.

You also don't tell us the age of your friends. I suspect they are not 25 year olds living in the city, but rather older.

There is a harsh truth here: The attention received by a woman attention is concentrated in her early years, whereas the attention received by a man is spread out over a much longer period.