It seems to me ‘identity’ of any kind can only be what the holder of that identity tells us it is. From the outside no one can dispute what the holder claims.

Of course we can have an opinion about which identities are helpful and healthy. So my understanding of you is that you have an opinion about which identities are helpful (which I agree with). Still I think it is unhelpful for you to deny the existence of unhelpful identities.

My reading of your last sentence is an attempt to declare by fiat the world you hope to create. right goal, wrong approach. (but it is just one sentence, so perhaps I misread you intent.)