For all who are repling here, it seems to me that the litmus should be how most listeners (especially Black listners) recieve the phrase. If it is understood (by the listner) to still be tied to our racist past, then it should be avoided. If one must first explain the etimology of the word to the listner in order to be offended, then it seems to me this word has now changed its meaning, and we should treat it accordingly.

As a society we should avoid insults and slurs and seek to minimize them. But explaining to the populace how the etimology of a word can lead to reason to be offended is moving in the wrong direction, when neither the speaker nor the listner intended or received insult.

summary:

- No gaslighting, but also

- no manufacture of outrage