100% agree with the notion that parent's identity built around the child's accomplishments is just F-ed up and toxic.

Also reading your stuff it is very clear that working with kids is a calling, and one ignores ones calling at ones own peril. So honor what calls you... you throw your heart into things, and that is comes from following your calling. Don't loose that.

I am probably half way between you and your parents in age and life position (have a 2 year old). And I do want to acknowledge one extra thing that could be in the mix here. Generally each generation lives in a separate universe, and will go it separate way. But there is one thing to be learned from the old... perspective on how one might look at things from the other side.

A thing I have observed at my 1/2 point is that things that matter very much to me at one time, just did not matter much later... or rather a different thing came to matter alot. My personal observation is that folks that chose professions based on the money they would make, ended up living lives very much centered on that money. I am not being judgemental, but it is a choice with consequences.

At the same time, folks that gave little thought to how they would earn the money to pay for their kids extra stuff or such... they did in the end need to focus more on money, just to make ends meet.. they ended up somewhat more focused on money, because of need.

Still I am not positive what conclusion to draw, because genearlly they made things work well enough... but it was hard.

Yeah, I am not sure I have wisdom to offer here... just to notice that in a decade or so you will have a very different set of foci and they will be more oriented around supporting your family (assuming that you choose to have one)

--dan